When
a Relationship is Ending
It
feels like a tightness in the chest, or an emptiness in the belly,
or a crushing of the spirit when a relationship that has been
valued seems to be coming to an end. Even when the separation
is of your own choosing, there is a deep sadness that wends through
the soul like a dark river. There is also the constant questioning
of the decision and self-recriminations for being unable to continue
on in something that had once been so fruitful and life-giving.
None of us wants to be the cause of another’s pain, nor
do we want to have our own heart broken. Part of the pain at the
end of a relationship is the feeling that what we once had has
been lost, or forgotten, or made meaningless by the changes that
have brought us to the point of separation. This is a natural
human reaction, but it is not consistent with the eternity of
God.
In the eternity of God every encounter, every relationship, every
sharing of hearts is part of the divine plan, and even though
our situation and feelings may change, those encounters, relationships,
and sharing of hearts are always held in the divine memory of
God’s timelessness. We have given ourselves to another in
love, and that has shaped and transformed us in ways that are
undeniable and eternal. When a relationship ends, the remnants
of love remain forever etched in our heart and in the heart of
heaven.
Tip to try: When you are feeling the painful emotions
that come when a loving relationship is breaking up, find a quiet
place and allow yourself to be in the presence of God there. In
your mind bring your partner into that presence with you, and
tell God why you love and cherish this person even though you
are now changing the way you relate to one another. Ask God to
put a blanket of peace around the two of you, and to give you
both the freedom to hold each other in love even as you move forward
in another direction.
