How
can I pray without fear and doubt? I feel like God is not
there and will not talk back to me. I feel like giving up
on prayer. Sometimes I think God is mad because of this.
I
don’t know that fear and doubt can ever be banished
from our prayers. Prayer brings us close to God, and that
can be a scary place to be. Not because God wants to frighten
us, but because it is awesome to contemplate one who loves
us without reservation, whose heart is open to us even when
we feel unworthy. The life that God wants for us can seem
daunting. The hope that God would give us is so different
from the world’s easier ways.
It can be frightening also to encounter our own need for God.
Many people hide from that need.
When our prayer is over, then comes the silence. I know that
people yearn for God to fill that silence with his words or
visions. But God has chosen to respond to us in ways other
than words or visions. The silence is your time to thank God
for listening and to ask God for discernment of what comes
next.
I
have been closer to the Episcopal Church than any other and
believe I have been happier there. However, my husband is
not interested in any church really but has told me point
blank he does not want to attend the Episcopal Church. In
light of recent events, I wonder if the Episcopal Church or
any church is for me. I am continually dismayed at the behavior
of so-called good Christians and have wondered if the Episcopal
Church can continue to survive. Do you have any advice for
me?
First,
it is true that the Episcopal Church is going through some
important and difficult times right now. So are other denominations.
The presenting issues—a gay bishop, a female Presiding
Bishop, diverse views of Scriptue—might not be issues
that matter to you. Behind those issues, however, are some
critically important matters having to do with modernity,
how we think about God, how we read Scripture, how we rethink
our inherited tradition, what roles God seems to want for
us today, and what we believe our faith communities should
be doing to serve God.
Other than the usual folks who use any controversy to feather
their nests, people of good will and solid faith can be found
on all sides of these issues. I think we need to be talking
to each other, not shouting epithets and claims of doctrinal
certainty. For that to happen, we will need to ratchet down
our noise, let go of our prideful assertions, and do the humble
work of discerning God’s call today.
My suggestion is that you consider entering more deeply into
this challenging moment, rather than running from it. These
are matters worthy of our best efforts, and every voice needs
to be heard, including yours.
Second, I think it is good when husband and wife can worship
together. If your husband is dead set against the Episcopal
Church, I assure you there is a large and wonderful world
of opportunity out there. The United States has well over
300 denominations, some of which are close enough to the Episcopal
Church that you could both feel at home. The Lutheran, Methodist
and Presbyterian traditions come immediately to mind. Many
college towns have liberal Baptists congregations that share
many convictions with the Episcopal Church.
I hope religion won’t come between you and your husband.
As a wise counselor once wrote, it’s important to “meet
in the middle.”
Every
time l decide that l need to move closer to God, everything
in my life starts to go wrong. No matter how much l pray,
it seems to get worse. When l stop praying and praising God,
things start to improve. I have such a hunger to know God,
but now l have become fearful to turn to him. What is it that
drives me from God?
Remember
what the apostle Paul said: “Nothing can separate us
from the love of God in Christ Jesus.” God does what
God wants to do. We don’t control God by our prayer
or lack of prayer. Whether you sense God as close or as far
away has to do with something happening inside you, not with
God’s decision to go or to come.
I urge you not to be afraid of turning to God. God loves you
without reservation and wants you to know him.
If
a body is cremated, how will it be resurrected during the
Second Coming?
Cremation
simply accelerates the “going down to dust” that
awaits all bodies. As far as we know, it has no impact on
God’s love of all that God has made or God’s determination
to draw all life to himself.
Raised
in a free (for lack of a better word) family, I was encouraged
to believe as I did. For the longest time this meant I believed
nothing, and, therefore, I assumed that I did not believe
in god. However, I think that might be untrue…. I have
wavered heavily on the subject of religion…but it’s
not for a lack of trying. I have worked until I sincerely
believed I would never waver, and in a flash I lost it all.
…How do I secure my beliefs?
I doubt that faith will ever
be “secure,” to use your word, or settled and
stable. It is the nature of God to keep leading us onward,
challenging us to grow and to serve. Faith is a journey, not
a destination. As such, faith is always in flux, always in
tension with the world, always seeking more from God and more
from oneself. Faith is like a conversation that goes from
topic to topic, question to question.
In my experience, faith grows
when we take the journey, especially when we put faith to
work, such as engaging in a mission project, forgiving an
enemy, or standing against injustice. Faith grows when you
give yourself away, and then discover God’s strength
bolstering you and God’s love surrounding you. The example
that means so much to me is the building of a Habitat for
Humanity house, when a large number of semi-skilled people,
often starting out as strangers to each other, gladly give
up many hours of their lives to help another person, without
counting the cost or expecting a prize. That is God among
us.
Another example is visiting the
elderly and dying, a selfless act that stretches your patience
but feeds your soul. That, too, is God among us. The world,
you see, doesn’t value such “waste of time.”
But God does.
My
suggestion, therefore, is that you take whatever level of
faith you have, be it as small as a mustard seed, and that
you start to give it away in serving others.
I'm
a minor who wants to be Orthodox, but my mom won't let me!
What should I do?
It
would help to know what’s behind your mother’s
decision. It could be that she has excellent reasons for wanting
you to avoid Orthodox tradition at this time. Parents generally
want the best for their children. In an area as critical as
faith, they aren’t likely to be unreasonable.
My
first suggestion, therefore, is to ask your mother to explain.
It’s
important that you educate yourself about Orthodox tradition.
That word covers a lot of ground, from well-established churches
like the Greek Orthodox or Russian Orthodox, to doctrinally
conservative splinter groups within mainline traditions. A
web search and some reading of an encyclopedia would deepen
your understanding. Which dimension of “Orthodoxy”
are you pursuing? How does it differ from your current religious
background?
My
second suggestion, therefore, is to do your homework and then
approach your mother again, not to prove her wrong with carefully
presented information, but to help her understand where you
are coming from.
Finally,
I would discourage you from allowing this to become a family
battle. You have a long life ahead of you and many opportunities
to explore your faith. Now is the time to honor the bonds
of family.
What
are the rules of fasting for seniors over 65?
I’m
not aware of any church rules for fasting. The practice has
a long tradition within Christian communities, as well as
Muslim and Jewish communities. From one visit to the Persian
Gulf during the Muslim season of Ramadan, my impression was
that the fasting protocols during Ramadan were more detailed
and rigorous than those observed by modern Christians.
When I teach about fasting, I caution that fasting isn’t
for everyone. Pregnant women, for example, and those with
certain health concerns probably should avoid fasting. As
for seniors, I think that depends entirely on personal health.
If you have any questions about your own participation in
fasting, I encourage you to discuss them with your physician.
Who
observes Shrove Tuesday (burning of the palms) besides Catholics
and Episcopalians?
Shrove
Tuesday is the English name for a traditional celebration
on the night before Ash Wednesday, which begins the penitential
season of Lent. It is observed widely throughout Christian
lands, from Poland to Pennsylvania, from Germany to Sweden.
It has various names, such as Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday), Pancake
Tuesday, Malasada Day (Hawaii), Carnival Tuesday (Portugal),
and more.
Because
Lent was a time for plain foods and avoiding rich ingredients
such as those used in pancakes, the Tuesday before Lent became
a day to use up those rich ingredients. Hence, the association
with pancakes.
I’m not familiar with any widespread tradition to burn
palms on Shrove Tuesday, except possibly as a matter of convenience
in getting ashes ready for Ash Wednesday.
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