MAY 2005
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I have been reading the Bible, and people tell me that only those that follow it as closely as possible and strive to do so every day can enjoy life now or be saved. But what
about non-believers who are good people and live their
life in love of other people? What about other religious [people] who don't necessarily believe in a heaven or God, like Buddhists? What happens to the people that call themselves Christians but don't strive to be more and more like the Bible calls to be daily? Are they all doomed to hell?
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I
am black, and my boyfriend is Chinese. I am a Christian
(Baptist). He has informed me that he is half Baptist
and half Buddhist. I was very confused. He claims that
it’s just a cultural or worshipping difference,
but I think otherwise. We've been together for two years.
I refuse to be with anyone with whom I am not spiritually
compatible. Could you tell me if I am wrong or not? In
Chinese culture, is Buddhist the same as Christianity?
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I
cannot accept the premises that are put forth by religion. It all seems that each sect believes theirs is the only true religion, so that means all others are bound for hell. Some are so caught up in rituals that their services seem like a badly performed play, with no feeling of spirituality present. It all seems like such a waste of time. The other side of that is I feel something is missing. I'm spiritually bankrupt. I wonder what it is all about, if there is no real purpose to our being here. I long for the peace and comfort that some people seem to experience by their deep belief in God. I just can't seem to buy it for myself.
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How can I be nice to girls? How do I ignore people who make fun of me and talk behind my back? What can I do in my school to let people
know about Jesus and how he loves them? Can you please
try to answer my question?
Being nice to girls means showing an interest in who they are as people, asking good questions and listening to the answers, and showing respect for them. You don’t have to wow them, impress them, or be anything other than who you are. Not every girl will respond, of course, but that’s okay. School is a time for sorting out who we are and what we like. The girl who spurns you today might find you appealing tomorrow. The point is to show yourself as a decent person who genuinely is interested in other people.
As for people who talk behind your back, just ignore them. Don’t give them any control over you by becoming nervous about what they might be saying.
You also asked about telling people about Jesus. One way is to invite a friend to your church or youth group.
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Six months ago I lost my four-year-old grandson to cancer. During the 15 months he battled this disease, people all over the country were praying for his recovery. There were prayer chains formed by many churches. Is God responsible for taking my grandson away? If not, then why do we pray? If so, then why do we pray? I believe that God is in control of everything, so why does it matter what we pray for? Does it make any difference to ask God for his mercy? What good does prayer do? I need answers.
May I humbly and respectfully suggest that you start with a clean slate. Let go of the idea that God controls all things, that death occurs because God is “taking” someone, that prayer conquers disease.
Read Genesis 2-3. When God left Adam and Eve in the garden, he had no idea what they would do. When he returned and found they had violated his one commandment and were hiding in shame, he was surprised and saddened. He didn’t control their actions. They did.
Same with other stories: the slaying of Abel by Cain, the shameful behavior of Noah’s sons after the flood, Jacob’s cheating of Esau, the betrayal of Joseph by his brothers, the adultery committed by David – and on and on. These are choices made in free will, and the choices bothered God. I think it does God a great disservice to say that God controls all things, which would have to include pogroms, genocide, bicycle accidents, cancers, and all.
Death occurs because our bodies are frail. Death can seem untimely, as it seemed for your grandson. Death can seem unfair. Sometimes death arises from our own foolishness, but death can also arise from bad luck, from evil, from another person’s cruelty, from the tragedy of warfare. In other words, death happens. It happens to us all eventually.
Prayer doesn’t convince God to stop one death or, at least by implication, to allow another death to proceed. We don’t have that kind of control over God. Nor would we want God to be that fickle or subject to human control. I believe prayer is our way of seeking what God does offer, namely, strength, courage, love, compassion – both for the one facing illness and death, and for those who love them. Through prayer, God enables us to know how much we love someone, to be humble in the face of what we cannot control, to be strong for another person, and to know we aren’t alone but are surrounded by a great cloud of witness.
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I have been reading the Bible, and people tell me that only those that follow it as closely as possible and strive to do so every day can enjoy
life now or be saved. But what about non-believers who are good people and live their life in love of other people? What about other religious [people] who don't necessarily believe in a heaven or God, like Buddhists? What happens to the people that call themselves Christians but don't strive to be more and more like the Bible calls to be daily?
Are they all doomed to hell?
Some people believe that their religion is the only true religion, and that all other religions are heresy and their followers doomed. This belief is convenient for them, but it isn’t the way God works. Over the years of humanity’s journey, God has revealed himself in many ways. The Old Testament alone uses at least four different names for God, and it has dozens of images of God. The New Testament conveys several different accounts of Jesus’ life and what followed from his ministry.
The reason for that has to do with us. We hear different things, we see different things. Even the same event, like the crucifixion, gets remembered in different ways. That testifies both to our limitations in understanding God and to the richness and mystery of God’s being. Those who proclaim their way as the only way generally are presenting a small and narrow God.
When you add to that the many ways people perceive God outside the Jewish and Christian traditions, you realize what a vast, complex and mysterious God we worship.
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I am a 35-year-old married mother of two (13 and 4) looking for a church. I have not been baptized, nor have my kids. I not sure where to begin. I don't know the differences between religions. Could you
give me some information about choosing a church? I also would
love for me and my kids to get baptized. What does that consist of,
and do all churches do this?
Finding
a church home can be as simple as joining the church nearest
your home and deciding to make it work, or as complex as going
in search of the perfect church. I am a big believer in worshiping
close to home and thereby making the connection between faith
and community. Denomination seems secondary.
If you decide to look for exactly the right church, you will need to determine what “right church” means to you. Compatible doctrine, or pleasing worship, or welcoming fellowship, or good youth program, or handsome facilities, or persuasive clergy, or people you already know.
You can consider some basic decisions at the start (or soon after trying a few churches): progressive or conservative, Protestant or Catholic, traditional denomination or non-denominational, large or small, formal or informal. I urge you to avoid falling into the trap of “consumer religion,” in which one “buys” a church the way one buys a car, always with an eye to personal satisfaction.
To the best of my knowledge, all Christian churches offer the sacrament of baptism. Some offer it only to people age 12 or so and older. Some offer it to any age. Most will require some preparation, perhaps extensive study.
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I am black, and my boyfriend is Chinese. I am a Christian (Baptist). He has informed me that he is half Baptist and half Buddhist. I was very confused. He claims that it’s just a cultural or worshipping difference,
but I think otherwise. We've been together for two years. I refuse to be with anyone with whom I am not spiritually compatible.
Could you tell me if I am wrong or not? In Chinese culture,
is Buddhist the same as Christianity?
You are asking several important questions here. First, Buddhism and Christianity are two different religions, each with its own way of approaching the God of creation. Many people find common ground between the two; some consider them mutually exclusive. I encourage you to look for common ground, or at least peaceful coexistence. God seems larger than any one religion’s narrow doctrine.
Second, in any mixed-faith relationship, a key issue is mutual respect: Can he respect your beliefs, and can you respect his? Given your different races and backgrounds, you also face issues of mutual respect in race and culture. That is a lot of work to do. Well worth doing, but not easy.
Third, for a relationship to survive, there does need to be some compatibility. Spiritual compatibility matters to some people and not to others. If it matters to you, then it is worth taking seriously. I would encourage you to engage in dialogue with a trusted pastor, who will help you find the way that is right for you and not just command you to follow his or her way.
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What is spiritual health? Please explain.
This term means different things to different people. Some focus on a rule of life, in which one’s day is structured according to times of prayer and study. Some focus on regular participation in a faith community (church, study group, home fellowship). Some focus on a personal discipline like daily reading of Scripture, or assenting to certain religious propositions, or accepting certain “Biblical truths” as valid, or belonging to a certain religious group, or staying within the circle and avoiding nonbelievers.
My understanding of spiritual health is this. God seeks to be in a relationship of oneness with us. And God wants us to be in oneness with others. That means breaking through the alienation that can arise from sinful behavior or arrogance and pride. It means loving one’s neighbor, rather than spurning, exploiting or judging. It means trusting God, rather than wealth or power. It means dying to that awful selfishness which sees others as objects and the world as something to be exploited. It means submitting one’s life to God, not as a slave or mindless automaton, but as a friend, a companion, a lover.
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How do I know what my calling from God is?
Trial and error. That is, in prayer and humble submission, look at the world around you and see where you can make a positive difference. Using the gifts for ministry that God has given you, try to make that difference. Don’t be deterred by opposition, but do be attentive to match or mismatch. I might want to be a soloist on Sunday, for example, but I don’t sing that well, so that probably isn’t my calling. God has distributed gifts to all of us, not the same gifts, not the same ministries, rather to each of us according to our capability and to God’s needs. Through trial and error, you will find where your gifts lie. Remember that the use of any God-given gift is to be for the good of others, not the aggrandizement of oneself. A Godly calling always has to do with love, mercy and justice.
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Does it say in the Bible how or why one is supposed to date?
God does want us to date, right? It's not like it's unacceptable
to do it or anything, is it?
You will find that the Bible says a great deal about love and interpersonal relationships, but not much about dating. In the Biblical eras, people didn’t know romantic love, as we know it. Marriages were arranged by the parents and often for reasons of property ownership and tribal identity. The idea of dating – starting at a young age to form romantic relationships, with the idea that eventually one relationship will lead to a lifelong partnership – is a modern idea, made possible partly by leisure and new conceptions of human freedom.
The Bible does contain guidance that will be useful in dating. The importance, for example, of being honest in all doings, of having respect both for oneself as a child of God and for the other, of understanding love as more than an emotion, as also being an orientation of the will. We have moved beyond the patriarchal ideas of the Old Testament era in which men ruled women. Jesus showed a more balanced understanding. He accepted women as worthy in their own right.
Scripture says a great deal about sex, much of it time-bound and centered in issues like patriarchy and fear of menstruation that might not pertain to us today. It is clear, however, that sex is a powerful force, to be approached with care and an appreciation of how our appetites can lead us astray.
The Bible affirms the sanctity of marriage and, thus, the importance of fidelity even in relationships prior to marriage. We must be trustworthy.
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I cannot accept the premises that are put forth by religion. It all seems that each sect believes theirs is the only true religion, so that means all others are bound for hell. Some are so caught up in rituals that their services seem like a badly performed play, with no feeling of spirituality present. It all seems like such a waste of time. The other side of that is I feel something is missing. I'm spiritually bankrupt. I wonder what it is all about, if there is no real purpose to our being here. I long for the peace and comfort that some people seem to experience by their deep belief in God. I just can't seem to buy it for myself.
Yes, it is true that many religious people proclaim their chosen brand as the only true religion. They do so for a variety of reasons. Some I would consider immature, such as a need to be right, a need to be on the winning team, or a need to feel superior to others. Some reasons arise from deeper conviction and seem to reflect interpretations of Scripture and tradition that are sincere and yet flawed.
I would urge you to approach such assertions with an open mind, not because they are correct, but because the yearning that underlies them probably is similar to your own. That is, a yearning for purpose, a yearning for peace, and yearning for a deeper relationship with God. Even though you find their surface assertions a bit over the top, you can find common ground in what lies beneath.
Your own search, then, can start on familiar religious terrain, flawed as it might be. What I think you can listen for is the voice that says, as Jesus said, “Come and see.” Or, “come unto me all you that are heavy laden.” Not every congregation will encourage such humility before God, but some will. I urge you to ask around, among people whose judgment and maturity you respect, for congregations that seem open and humble. Every city will have several.
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How do you know the will of God or what God's best intentions are for your life? Do we look for signposts along the road or billboards in the sky? How do we reconcile the gift of free will with the Lord's Prayer petition, not my will but "Thy Will Be Done"?
These are points on which devout believers disagree. Some believe that God has a specific plan for every person’s life. Some believe that God has an overarching purpose for creation and that our lives work best when we align ourselves with that purpose. Some believe that we “work out our salvation in fear and trembling,” as stated by the Apostle Paul. Some believe that our call is to be faithful and responsive to the “changes and chances” of life as they occur.
My own belief is that God’s overarching purposes – love, peace, forgiveness, mercy, humility, self-sacrifice, servanthood – can be known through the study of Scripture and that while we are free to choose, life works best when we pursue those purposes. Each specific decision, then, should be measured against those purposes. Is it the loving thing to do? Is it arrogant and prideful? And so on.
That is how I understand the petition in the Lord’s Prayer. We ask God for the strength and humility to do it God’s way.
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