What is forgiveness all about?
Forgiveness isn't a “magic pill.” By itself, it won't make pain, remorse or anger go away. When we trespass, or are trespassed against, deep feelings occur, and they don't just vanish. We have to work through them, sometimes by grieving, sometimes by making amends, sometimes by going on with our lives as best we can.
Forgiveness is a promise that God understands and, in God's mercy, has chosen to put the trespass aside. God's letting go, in turn, should free us to let go, to put aside our need for revenge, our feelings of self-loathing, remorse and shame. Whether we do so is another matter. Revenge can be delicious; remorse and shame leave us feeling unworthy. But by making a confession to God and receiving God's promise of absolution, we know that it's now up to us whether we seek or forgo revenge. If we choose to remain in, say, shame, it is our choice, not some punishment that God has imposed.
Forgiveness is a personal journey. We can only be responsible for our decisions to confess, to accept absolution, and to go forward as the forgiven. We cannot own the other person's decision to keep the trespass going. If someone who has hurt you chooses to deny his need for repentance, that is his problem and not something you can own. By the same token, if you have made reasonable and humble efforts to make amends for hurt you have caused, then you have done what you can do. You can't force the other person to set it aside.
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In studying the Gospels, I've gotten the sense that there is something missing. Not that the word of God is incomplete, but that, perhaps, in the writing of the gospels, the authors left out things. There are several instances where the Gospels mention, "Jesus taught the people in the Temple," but we don't get to know what he taught. I understand that the Gospels seek to illuminate Jesus' life and his saving actions, but I just wish we could know more.
Many people have wondered what more could have been said in the gospels. None of the gospels, of course, purports to be a complete record of what Jesus said and did. Each has a more limited purpose than that, such as being a “primer on discipleship,” as Mark has been termed. Even though the author of Luke/Acts describes his purpose as relating “all that Jesus did and taught,” his actual purpose is to situate Jesus as the “new Adam” and his ministry as restoring lost creation.
No author had access to all of the oral tradition that was passed down. For that reason, all four gospels have only a small amount of material in common (such as feeding the 5,000 and the passion narrative). Each gospel had unique sources. Mary the mother of Jesus is thought to be a source for Luke. Mark was a source for Matthew and Luke, but Matthew had a special source (called M) and Matthew and Luke shared a source (called Q). Even when they tell the same stories, the gospels have different details (such as the angel speaking to Mary in Luke and to Joseph in Matthew).
In addition , each Gospel was written for a different audience.
To make it even more complicated, the early years of Christianity had many other writings, including several gospels that had stories and sayings quite different from those of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. One entire category of writings, called “Gnosticism,” was suppressed by the Church, because it diverged from preferred doctrine.
Finally, even the gospels say that more will be revealed later in the age of the Holy Spirit. In other words, God hasn't stopped communicating with humanity.
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What type of prayers and/or scriptures do you suggest for a mother to read when her child's behavior, attitude is not respectful?
First, I suggest you read the newspaper column written by John Rosemond. It is filled with practical, common-sense advice for parents. One of his key views is that the parent is in charge, not the child, and that children are too much the center in many families. The marriage should be the center of the family, not the child's performance, behavior or attitude.
Second, since children learn respect by seeing their parents respect each other, and learn values by observing the values of their parents, I commend to you this prayer for parents from the Book of Common Prayer:
Almighty God, giver of life and love, bless these parents. Grant them wisdom and devotion in the ordering of their common life, that each may be to the other a strength in need, a counselor in perplexity, a comfort in sorrow, and a companion in joy. And so knit their wills together in your will and their spirits in your Spirit, that they may live together in love and peace all the days of their live; through Jesus Christ our Lord.
What a parent needs, it seems to me, is strength and confidence. What a child tries to do, without meaning any harm, is to take away the parent's strength and confidence. The focus for prayer, therefore, is your ability to be calm in the face of panic, strong in the face of challenge, wise in the face of folly, and confident in the face of doubt. The Lord's Prayer can help, especially with its plea for “daily bread,” consistent food for the battle, not one-time fixes.
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Does it really matter what church I go to?
The United States has more than 300 Christian denominations, as well as a host of non-denominational congregations. Most of those denominations consider their beliefs to be correct and normative. To varying degrees, many see other's beliefs as erroneous, even dangerous.
In addition, some denominations and congregations believe strongly in telling their members what to think, how to live, and, in some cases, how to vote and how to spend their money. Some put pressure on their members to have nothing to do with Christians from other traditions.
It can be confusing, perhaps even offensive. We are fashioned by God to think for ourselves and to be responsible for our decisions.
Does it matter which church you attend? Yes, it does. A healthy church experience, in my opinion, is one that honors your freedom, encourages you to discover God in your life, helps you to go deeper, introduces you to other Christian people, engages you in acts of mission and servanthood, and supports you in the difficult times.
Does that understanding point to a specific denomination? No, it doesn't. Within any denomination you will find healthy and unhealthy congregations. In the end, it is necessary for you to be discerning. Does this denomination promote beliefs that make sense to you? Does this congregation respect you and help you? Can you find sustenance among these people?
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What is the doctrine of predestination?
Predestination is a controversial doctrine within many religions. It expresses a belief that God knows in advance what will happen in our lives and, in effect, God determines what will happen. One form this takes is the belief that, as some put it, “God has a plan for your life.” Opposed to this is the belief that God gave humans free will and that, as Paul said, we work out our salvation by the choices we make.
Beliefs about predestination take several forms, depending on how much God is seen as planning, causing and limiting the shape of human life. I commend to you an excellent article on the subject in the on-line resource, “Wikipedia.”
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I am a saved Christian and a member
of the Baptist faith. As I’ve become older and moved
to a larger city, I’ve had a hard time finding a comfortable
church home. [In churches today] the music is virtually all
Christian contemporary, accompanied by an electric band, and
is mostly sung by one or more soloists – sometimes accompanied
by the congregation and often not. Many churches have eliminated
the choir altogether. I feel like I’m attending a rock
concert instead of a worship service. This has become so pervasive,
especially in the Baptist churches, that I’m considering
changing my denomination. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
In
order to reach young adults, many congregations have adopted
a worship style that they think will be more appealing to
“seekers” who are turned off by traditional worship.
In many places, that change to contemporary music and less
audience participation has been successful in attracting large
numbers and touching many lives.
Not
everyone appreciates the changes, as is standard in any religious
transition. In your area, I think you will find several congregations,
including Baptist churches that stick to a more traditional
style of worship.
In
my opinion, there is no right or wrong to worship style. It's
about tastes, not divine sanction. For anyone, the question
is, what will draw you closer to God? There are many answers
to that question, and therefore many worship styles.
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Why
does the word tell me I cannot, should not, am not allowed
to question God?
I
think you need to read the broader word, not just one verse
telling you not to question God. In Scripture, people questioned
God all the time. They wanted to know his name, where he could
be found, why he did certain things, could they build a temple,
how could they endure exile, why he didn't care for them,
and on and on. Questioning God is a normal and healthy part
of dialog with God.
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I
was raised Catholic... I still believe in Jesus Christ, which
makes me a Christian, [and] use a lot of different prayers
and rituals from other religions. I am not religious, I am
not Catholic...I am spiritual and my relationship with God
is closer than ever! I use meditation, prayer, candle rituals,
gemstones and have freed myself to learn from both saints,
mystics...and even animal teachers. That's quite a mix! Do
I need to define exactly what I am? It would be helpful as
I am looking for like-minded people to gather with.
I think you would be surprised, and pleased, to know how many people follow a path similar to yours, bringing together strands from several religious traditions. Some stay within the Christian realm but draw on childhood roots (Catholicism, in your case) and add to it church experiences from other traditions, diverse readings, TV preaching, and one-time experiences. Others venture outside the Christian tradition, remaining Christian but sampling features from other traditions, such as Jewish mysticism, Buddhist meditation, and Muslim piety.
No faith journey is simple or consistent. Both life and God are too complex for that. The point, it seems to me, is to keep an open mind, to seek God in daily life, to understand that a balanced spiritual life requires discernment, and to be humble about the wrong turns you will take and the glimpses you will miss.
I don't think you need to worry about labeling yourself or pegging an exact Christian identity. The restless soul keeps searching and allowing self to be transformed. Why try to nail it down today? Your quest for like-minded people might better be seen as a quest for similarly open-minded people, who also are growing and changing.
