Looking
Back on Depression
In the midst of severe clinical depression I have never felt anything
redeeming about it, spiritually or otherwise. But when I emerge back
into life, several things become clear.
One is that
the darkness did not kill me, which makes all darknesses more bearable--and
since darkness
is an inevitable part of the cycle
of spiritual life (as it is in the cycle of natural life) this is valuable
knowledge.
Two, depression
has taught me that there is something in me far deeper and stronger
and truer than my ego, my emotions, my intellect,
or my
will.
All of these
faculties have failed me in depression, and if they were all I had,
I do not believe I would still be here to talk
about
the
experience.
Deeper down
there is a soul, or true self, or "that
of God in every person" that helps explain (for me, at least)
where the real power of life resides.
Three, the
experience of emerging from a living hell makes the rest of one's life
more
precious, no matter how "ordinary" it may be.
To
know that life is a gift, and to be grateful for that gift,
are keys to a spiritual life, keys that one is handed as
depression yields
to
new life.
--Parker
Palmer, Ph.D.
from the question "How could depression lead to a richer spiritual
life?"
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